Harry Winston Chasing Me !?!

Weird title I know but have you read this book called 'The Rules' I havent found a copy in India yet but if I do I plan to make a bonfire with it. Ok I am not a feminist and no I am not a 60's housewife either. I am just a 20 something woman who believes that she is an equal to the opposite sex and who doesnt have to follow silly rules to "catch" him...


This blog entry is because I wanted to pen down my thoughts on why women keep getting screwed over and over, usually by the same kinda guy, and yet buy these stupid books to tell them what they already know. I mean come on!Don't we women already know of some things that we absolutely shouldnt do...like tell a man you want his babies 2 weeks after meeting him...Darling, I would run too!!

It frustrates me how these books feed off of the knowledge that has been shared by our moms and grandmoms and our own personal experiences. Yet we need to have some stupid author write it out for us. So what do we do? We spend a bomb after subjecting ourselves to the curious looks of the cashier at the book store!!

I like to beleive that I have ample experience not only personal but through watching friends and family go through weird relationships and various situations, to jot down these few pointers or rather observations about men and women and why at times doing something works and not doing something does too. Some stuff that WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN by now. I will be honest, some I have followed, some I havent and then have learnt the hard way.

So here goes...words of wisdom from my grandma with a Sophie twist...

10 COMMANDMENTS OF SOPHIE

1. TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS BAADDD.

If everything is out in the open then where is the mystery? C'mon do you wanna watch a murder mystery if you already know the butler did it? So yes, men and women there is no need to blurt out everything. Girls - pls dont tell him all about yourself, he doesnt need to know about that drunken nite in Cabo or the time you got crabs; Boyz - Nice to know about your past gfs but can you pls spare us the details. Last thing I want to do is imagine you wearing your exes thongs and dancing about her apartment on a night that is the memorable for you...UGH!!

2. STOP GIVING THEN COMPLAINING!


Women women women...I know this...coz I have been there too. We tend to give give give...and what I finally did ask myself was..."Girl, who asked you to?" I love this character on this TV show called Veronica Mars, the protagonist dumps guys, gets dumped and dates again, yet she maintains her distance. She does things for people but she either refuses to have expectations for the good deed done or she just says NO to doing the deed. So girls...learn to say NO. I know I have!


3. DO NOT TRING HIM!!!!!


He said he would call you...then let him. Are you kidding me, why would you think he lost your number and even if he did he better go through every trouble in the world to find it, you are WORTH it! Coz woman, if a man wants to be with you NOTHING in the world is gonna stop him...and if he doesnt...well same goes. So stop hanging by the phone, meet your gal pals and just chill...if he wants you, he will do his damnest...

4. LEAVE ME ALONE; I'M LONELY.


Nope not the song. I have noticed that when you want something and it is available all the time, you lose interest. It's human nature. So if you want some one to like you and keep liking you, stop being a hanger-on and get a life of your own. Let the other person breathe and give them time to miss you. My grandma always told me that the heart grows fonder when there is distance and also that familiarity tends to breed contempt...so gurls, let him be. Walk away at times. Let him go do his own thing and you do yours. He will come back...and boy will he want you;)


5. DICTATE YOUR OWN EMOTIONS


Yeah this one is 100% true. I learnt it the hard way. I was once this girl who didnt care what the other person thought coz I knew how I felt and I did as much. Then I became this woman who let some guy dictate her emotions. If he ignored me or said something mean I would get upset, hurt and cry. Not anymore! Now I rule my own emotions. I dont ask you to become an ice maiden but before you start the shower works, atleast be sure that he is WORTH it..if not..babe..just FUDGE it. Remember...many fish in the sea...:)


6. BOY NOT INTO YOU IS ALSO OK


Not everyone in this world is going to like you. My mom's famous words...so true and its taken me so long to realise what she meant. So now I have stopped feeling bad for that guy who didnt like me. I realise that its just that some ppl dont like you. Period. And sometimes they just STOP liking you. They fall OUT of 'like' with you. You do too..!! So there...just remember that the guy who remains in 'like' with you forever...now thats the guys for keeps...


7. BE INDEPENDENT. BE TRUE.


I know lotsa guys coz I have hoardes of guy friends. They all tell me one thing. That they respect a woman who stands for herself and her principles. You dont like something that the hot hunk you have a crush on since 5th grade did...well...there is no reason why you should smile and keep mum. I once told off a cute guy when he was rude to a bus boy and he actually appreciated my honesty and respected me for it. Guys dont want a woman who agrees with everything they say or do. They want to be around a person who has his/her own opinion. So what if you dont like basketball...dont pretend and sit through an excruciating game just coz you want to spend time with him. Be honest...and meet him for drinks later ;) Be confident Querida...it works...


8. DONT MAKE HIM PAY EVERY TIME.


OK No one likes a free loader. So as good as it is to have someone pick up the tab and buy you stuff, its just SO not nice. So gurl, you need to pay your half. Yes! It keeps you independent and in control as well. Do you really want to be a 'kept' woman...nah! I thought not...so yeah, he will love it...and at times...why dont you just pick the tab yourself...do it and see him smile in appreciation...


9. GET SMART


NO THERE IS NO RULE THAT SAYS MEN LIKE DUMB GIRLS. And those who do, do like them for a reason...cough cough....Durex anyone?? So yeah, dont hide your intelligence. Don't flaunt it or throw it in his face either but if you have an opinion on anything, be it art, literature, this recession thing or just the STAYAM-MAYTAS scandal then go for it. But pls pls pls do your homework...no one wants to be with a woman who thinks Chlamydia is a flower...see what I mean..:)


10. ALWAYS LOOK AND SMELL GOOD.


No one wants to be a round someone who looks like they just got out of bed especially when its 8pm and you are at dinner at The Ivy...so my lovely ladies...pls do yourself a favor and stop the bra burning and shave under those pits will ya..!! I am sure you wouldn't want to be around a guy who has bad breath or body odor. Make an effort...comb your hair, dress nice...it doesn't have to be expensive for cryin' out loud but when you make an effort, he will notice...as much as they say they don't , trust me men NOTICE. And more than anything do it for yourself...do you wanna look like a million bucks or a penny in a drain?? So DRESS UP muh dahling and SMELL NICE!


So there you go...here they are my pearls of wisdom gathered over the past 20 odd years and ready to be shared. I will be honest I havent followed a few of these until now but I have always believed in them. So even if you dont follow them...believe in yourself...unless that happens...no one will! And baby...no one loves you like you can love yourself...so go fur it guurrlll...!!