I spent Tuesday evening in the company of 4 very confused men. I know three of them pretty well and I am certain they are good guys but they embody the very definition of the typical confused urban Indian male 25-30 yrs, making good money, own's a car who is supposed to be from the 21st Century and yet lives in the 19th century! Don't get me wrong, they are all for feminism and for women's rights and are very respectful of all their female colleagues. But when it comes to relationships, these men still think they lead the way, that they are the ultimate decision makers. The be all and end all of where a hook up begins and a relationship ends. In the words of one of them, "I will hook up with a girl if I want to and then I dont know how I will feel the next day. I mean I will decide when I have to and get back to her". HELLO! What makes him think that SHE hasnt already dumped his sorry ass I won't know?? Seriously, Indian men need to first give themselves a complete once over before dictating terms to women. It's rather sad to see a man being arrogant especially when he scores a 4 on a scale of 10. What's even sadder is that a woman who can do so much better, let's him get away with it. She actually waits for his neandrethal brain to make a decision about the future of their 'relationship'!
Girls, girls, girls...wake up and smell the coffee. Its the 21st Century. It's not him in the driver's seat anymore, now you share the seat with him. You just haven't accepted it coz you are still trying to be the 20th century Indian woman who let's the man lead. And it's not our fault really. It's our mom's! Yeah, she taught us to be independent, self sufficient and at the same time conform to societal pressures and be what Indian women have been all along, submissive.
I am not saying that we should snatch the reins or fight for power in an all out battle of the sexes. All I am saying is, let's not act like Sita's when the world probably demands a Draupadi. She who caused the biggest war in Indian history! Get my drift? Know your power and don't feel ashamed to use it. Who says he has the power to dictate where anything goes? Make up your own mind and stick to your decision.
Hey, I am not gonna be apologetic about the way I feel about most Indian men. I am sorry but ask any educated Indian woman and trust me, if she could she'd rather be with any man but an Indian man. The fault again lies here with the mom's. She taught you men to expect the self sacrificial goat, so now when you meet the roaring lioness you dont know what to do. The result is that you call us sluts and whores coz we drink, party, work and earn enough to scoff in your faces when you want us to cook rotis for you and press your feet.
I wish Indian men would stop being hypocrites for once! There was a time when you ruled at the work place, well! we have taken that over and are giving you a run for your money. Then there were the bars, we have occupied your bar stools too. Then there was the bedroom...Sex and the City has kicked your ass and turned us into Carrie's and Samantha's...so all that's left is the heart and that's where you still think you have the power. Wake up guys! Or you will be left with the bottom feeders.
The Indian woman today is the perfect combo of Aphrodite and Durga. One who will love you when you love and respect her, and burn you if you push her too far. I am all for the woman who has realised her worth and is fighting for it. Aye Aye PINK CHADDI! I am all for y'all!
So women in India...stand up for yourselves and be verbal about your terms. What do you want? Go get it! Demand it! Want it and... STOP APOLOGISING!
Indian men...GROW UP!
3 comments:
Nice blogs as always. I do not know but this blog reflects your preconceived notion about men especially Indian men. I am neither challenging your opinions nor in support of them.
"Seriously, Indian men need to first give themselves a complete once over before dictating terms to women"
If you are talking about common Indian men (excluding the men same as who were involved in Mangalore-Pub kind of situation) it is not true. No one is dictating the women. They know that both are equally important.
"And it's not our fault really. It's our mom's!"
It is correct up to some extent but they were bound to the time they lived in. In my personal experience my sister got the more family support (mother as well as father) every time. I do not regret that, rather appreciate.
Wow I had no idea someone out there was actually reading my posts :) I am not generalising which is why I said...most Indian men..Not all. I am sure there are exceptions. In a population of over a billion people I am sure there are more like you out there. Just that the majority are still living in centuries gone by...
I must confess, the test drive approach exists in both sexes but having confidence that only one sex can make the final decision is that sex's stupidity!!
What our mom's have taught is gravely engraved into our minds but most of us just use their guidance as means to make an informed decision. Having to compromise at some level is natural, but trying to be submissive and letting go ones personal interest is a slow kill.
Sad but true, such men exist. Surprisingly they are not limited to Indian race. But you know what, the world has surely changed, there are a lot of women out there who take no shit and they after a hard search find the man who can truly accept, respect and love her for who she is! Believe me, for I'm one such lucky girl! :)
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